To put it simply, there is no truth, rhyme, or reason behind the name of my blog. Despite the fact that it sounds cool and rolls of the tongue, allow me to expand on it's origins (even though I think you're being selfish as a reader for not accepting my simple explanation).
One of my favorite past times is something I christened: misplaced noun association. I take a word and an adjective that have no prior connection and fuse them into a smoldering ball of plasma beauty. To anyone else but me, it doesn't make a lot of sense. But there are slight connotations of the words or emotions I am feeling that fuel the process. Let us start with a list of my favorites:
- Titty bingo (Created by my friend Søren. I use it when I'm excited or pissed off)
- Muslim tether ball (Just a personal fantasy of mine)
- Glitter applesauce (Made up by my friend Sophia to stand for all things sickeningly girly)
- Swastika pinkie (What I picture as the holy grail for Nazis. A pinkie on a human hand capable of producing an endless stream of swastikas. Somewhat of a fetish object for world war 2 Germans)
- Tomato placenta (What I picture to be the afterbirth of genetically engineered foods such as baby corn, which scares the shit out of me by the way)
- Pizza lipstick (The lipstick of choice for the overweight preteen population)
Although not my intention for the last one on the list, it has particular marketability as a real product. It is undoubtedly the new revolutionary cosmetic of the chronically obese. It might, no it will become the favorite seductive device of overweight nations worldwide.
Now I only need someone to pick up the idea and market it under a reputable label. Perhaps Dominoes is ready to kick-start its own line of beauty products. More on that later (not really, I just want to move on. I will never explain more about Pizza Lipstick, merely use it as a transition between ideas from here on out).
So back to the mosquitoes (Pizza lipstick. See I told you). I was on Salt Lake's public transit system last week when the official religion of the mosquitoes was established. I always have Wicca on my mind. To me, it is the perfect balance between holistic medicine and environmentalism with a splash of satanic super naturalism. It only follows naturally that when I heard a loud high pitched noise coming from the train did I associate both sanguivoreian insect and Wicca. The immediate situation of annoying and insufferable noise lent itself perfectly to my obsession with all things Wicca (however now there is only one thing Wicca; the mosquito).
One of my favorite past times is something I christened: misplaced noun association. I take a word and an adjective that have no prior connection and fuse them into a smoldering ball of plasma beauty. To anyone else but me, it doesn't make a lot of sense. But there are slight connotations of the words or emotions I am feeling that fuel the process. Let us start with a list of my favorites:
- Titty bingo (Created by my friend Søren. I use it when I'm excited or pissed off)
- Muslim tether ball (Just a personal fantasy of mine)
- Glitter applesauce (Made up by my friend Sophia to stand for all things sickeningly girly)
- Swastika pinkie (What I picture as the holy grail for Nazis. A pinkie on a human hand capable of producing an endless stream of swastikas. Somewhat of a fetish object for world war 2 Germans)
- Tomato placenta (What I picture to be the afterbirth of genetically engineered foods such as baby corn, which scares the shit out of me by the way)
- Pizza lipstick (The lipstick of choice for the overweight preteen population)
Although not my intention for the last one on the list, it has particular marketability as a real product. It is undoubtedly the new revolutionary cosmetic of the chronically obese. It might, no it will become the favorite seductive device of overweight nations worldwide.
Now I only need someone to pick up the idea and market it under a reputable label. Perhaps Dominoes is ready to kick-start its own line of beauty products. More on that later (not really, I just want to move on. I will never explain more about Pizza Lipstick, merely use it as a transition between ideas from here on out).
So back to the mosquitoes (Pizza lipstick. See I told you). I was on Salt Lake's public transit system last week when the official religion of the mosquitoes was established. I always have Wicca on my mind. To me, it is the perfect balance between holistic medicine and environmentalism with a splash of satanic super naturalism. It only follows naturally that when I heard a loud high pitched noise coming from the train did I associate both sanguivoreian insect and Wicca. The immediate situation of annoying and insufferable noise lent itself perfectly to my obsession with all things Wicca (however now there is only one thing Wicca; the mosquito).
So now you know the name behind my blog and the convoluted path my mind takes to invent such things. You also know that society will surely benefit from the connection I have made that answers the eons old question: what religion are mosquitoes? And knowing is half the battle.
Side Note: My most recent experience involving a Wiccan (before the mosquito incident, of course) was on Craig's List. From time to time I scan the 'friend seeking friend' section of the Salt Lake City personal adds. It seems to me that Craig's List has really opened up a niche for itself. Lonely people looking for a partner under the guise of friendship because they are either too scared to admit their need of a significant other or are too cheap to use an online dating service, now have somewhere to turn. And what a place it is. Just the right amount of desperation and overwhelmingly uncomfortable requests, Craig's List is the golden ratio of the online dating world.
My most recent encounter was a middle aged woman seeking a friend with whom she could share her Wicca beliefs. She made it explicitly clear that she was open about her faith and wanted a friend she could practice with. What really got me was her unwillingness to discuss her sex life. She claimed to be a 'para-sexual' and demanded anyone who wanted to know what it meant should look it up. Come one, it only stands to reason that someone looking for a friend or potential girlfriend would be explicitly clear about their taboo witch-like religion but closed to any explanation of what they expect from you as a person. In her immortal words, "I'm really touchy-feely lol". Well put lonely Wiccan. Your eloquence for emotional introspection astounds me. I have only one question: Are you merely overusing 'lol' like most of the population or do you find your tendency to want to be intimate comical?
Something tells me that unless I convert to Wicca, I will never know. Who cares, I've got mosquitoes which are the next best thing.
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